


Hung Like a Pelt of Some Prey

by Filigranka



Category: 11Foot8 Bridge (YouTube & Website)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Title from a Hozier Song, Triple Drabble, because I can't stop myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 13:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filigranka/pseuds/Filigranka
Summary: Crushing them is a dirty job - but somebody has to do it.





	Hung Like a Pelt of Some Prey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [debirlfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/gifts).



Yeah, sure, I’m sorta famous right now, but do you have any idea how much work went into it? No. You think, “What is this old fellow talking about? No work at all, you stand there and those idiots keep running straight into you! Every bridge could do it!”. Exactly. I can tell from your face.

You’re so wrong, buddy. So wrong.

Look at all those signs. Those big, flashy warnings. That Internet site, commemorating the fate of those who misestimated me. Do you really think it’s easy to lure people in despite all that? It’s a difficult job, an art even... Manipulation. Deception. You need to be just a little lower and look just a little taller, thanks to the strategic colouring and (the) placement of railings. This is the key. Balance. Balance and hope.

Buddy, humans are all about hope. They have to be. They’re short-lived. Look at their literature and movies. See? Hope and winning against all odds, again and again, ad nauseam. How often do you see such miracles in real life? Rarely! But, you know, humans. Their culture. They don’t care about statistics one bit, they care about the story. Fancy themselves heroes of one.

So, yeah, the signs. At first when they placed them there, I was terrified, but I soon learned how to weaponise them. They make me look taller, thanks to the magic of optics and proportion. And they make it easy to give humans this tantalising, hypnotising hope they’re going to be The Hero Of This Story. They’re going to be the ones who will fit under this bridge! No stupid signs from an evil empire government can tell them what to do! Hope will prevail!

And hope prevails, buddy, hope prevails. Exhibit A—Ouch. Woah, I bet that hurt. QED.


End file.
